a toe in the water

Okay, here we go, dipping a toe in the water. I can always get out if I get in over my head, right?
Right.
I don't know if I'm talking to myself or to some hypothetical reader. And why should I worry anyway? It's not as if anyone's going to read this.
So why write here, on the web? Why not just keep a diary?
I guess it's the same reason writers write. I mean they're always saying they do it because they have to, and let's face it, apart from a few lucky sods, most of them don't make a living at it. So if they're not doing it for the money, and they're not doing it for the fame (I guess some of them are, but a lot of them claim to be really shy and hate all that publicity), so ... if they're not doing it for those reasons, why publish? Why not just stuff the pages in a drawer, or something?
I guess we all want to be heard. I mean, I would hate anyone I know to be listening (well, except Mike, obviously), but that doesn't mean I don't want someone to hear.
Is that screwed up?
Teenage angst. Got to get over that. Won't be a teenager much longer.

I didn't sit down to write any of that. Maybe it's true what they say.
Focus.
What I was going to talk about was the disaster. Well, not really the disaster. I mean, what can you say? So many people dead. So many people losing the people they love (which I think would be worse, because, you know, once you're dead, you're not going to be feeling anything, right?) But what gets me, what I want to talk about, is why, when something like this happens, you always get people coming out of the woodwork, ranting on about how it makes them doubt God. I mean, let's be logical, people die all the time. Sometimes huge numbers in a natural disaster like this. Why should you need a new one to happen before you start doubting God? I mean, either you believe he's there and he lets this stuff happen (moving in mysterious ways his wonders to perform, and all that), or you don't believe he's there. But you don't need to keep being hit on the head with it. WE ALREADY KNOW THIS STUFF HAPPENS. IT'S NOT NEW. So you don't need to have a crisis of faith, because you already considered this, right?
But people aren't logical. Not even me.