my epiphany

Oh wow, I think I just had an epiphany. I was reading this article -- yeah, I know, I've zero time for Web-surfing, but there you go, I just ... well, you probably noticed from my last two blogs I've been a bit down lately, so I ... was looking up stuff about happiness. (I know, this is such a geeky thing to do; looking up solutions to your emotional problems on the net, but there you go, idle moment and all that).

Anyway, I came across this article, and noticed Seligman's name -- because he's like the guru of happiness, in a non-pseudoscience way. Now Seligman, it turns out, was the guy who discovered "learned helplessness", which is this state of mind you get into when you've been knocked about so much you just give up, and don't try to avoid even avoidable unpleasantnesses -- you know, the whole battered woman syndrome.

For reasons I'm not about to get into, the learned helplessness thing kind of ... resonated with me. Which is why this statement by Seligman had such an effect on me; he said that one in three subjects didn't develop the condition, whatever happened to them. They just kept on fighting back.

Sounds kinda stupid when I say it like that. I can just hear you (my mythical reader) going "duh". It's just ... I guess you have to be where I was to understand why that hit me like it did.

Anyway, I guess I always credited my survival to my brother (and hey, no way am I denying that), but I guess ... maybe ... I'm prepared to accept what he's always told me -- that maybe, just maybe, I had something to do with it too. And more importantly, that now it is up to me. If I want to be happy, it's up to me to make me happy.

Not really all that profound, is it? Oh well.