First step

Isn't it weird how you can drag yourself through months of days absolutely focused on something, and then wake up one morning and, bam!, it's gone.

That wasn't what I meant to say. I meant to say, I've been avoiding
forgetting, I meant to say forgetting
this blog for months, and this morning I woke up, and ... I felt different ... from the way I've been feeling all this time. And now, sitting here at my computer, I suddenly want to blog again.

And what I've written tells me things I haven't realized until I wrote them, which is why I like doing this and, now I come to think of it, why I've been avoiding it all these months.

Yeah, avoiding, not forgetting. I kidded myself I'd forgotten about it, but I guess that isn't really true. And, yeah, I have been absolutely focused on work all these months, and I do that when I don't want to think about anything else. Work's always been a safe place for me to disappear into -- why I did so well at school, eh?

Well, it's been good for my grades anyway. And I've earned a lot of money this summer, so ... at least my time hasn't been wasted!

But, yeah, I've been dragging through the days, and I haven't let myself realize it.

Ah well, what do they say? First step is admitting you have a problem!

Maybe tomorrow I'll be up to talking about it. I think that's as much self-awareness as I can bear right now.